13-March-2007

This is just a notice that as the infamous dates of March 17th approaches, the odds are greater and greater thatn I will be grounded and thus not able to update any part of the Chucksphere. I'm backing up my computer stuff, and hope to return sometime in hte near future.

13-March-2007

Corner

My friends and I decided recently that our lives rather resembled a Sinfield-esque sitcom. Therefore, we decided to film it.

Today was ACT day, and so we didn't have time to sit long in our corner, as is the ritual. So, after school, we sat in said corner for 15 minutes, chatting away and messing with Lana's cell phone. Ryan then asked, as we all hate being in school, why we were sitting there to begin with.

Mark: I'm here because you're here.

(Steve and Eric are riding with Mark)

Ryan: I'm here because Charlie's here.

(Ryan's getting a ride with me)

Me: I'm here because you guys are all here.

(Mark jumps)

Mark: Allright, let's all just go.

(So we did)

Ryan: Oh, we should have filmed that!

(And Lana got her phone back)

 

8-March-2007

Quiz Bowl Wrapup

Quiz Bowl ended last Thursday with the League Tournament, which was fucked up because most of the question were repeats from previous rounds, so it was more of a “Remember the question after two or three words” game than a “know the stuff” game.

So, our record for the whole season is:

  • MSU Quiz Busters: 2-1
  • “Friendly” games with Mount Pleasant: 3-3
  • Dearborn Tournament: 5-2
  • Winter Season: 8-2 season, 1-2 tournament
  • 2006-2007 High School Challenge Champions (UofM; 5-0)

We only succeeded in attaining one Jewel of the Triple Crown (UofM, MSU, State).

 

8-March-2007

Too Lazy to Write an Article

Can Only Saints Be Presedent?

and

Brookhiser, Richard. "The People's Choice." Time, March 12 2007. Pg 25.

Read both and extrapolate what you think I'll say.

 

8-March-2007

A Good Joke Never Dies

So, I was sitting in AP Biology yesterday, and the teacher was informing us about fungus. One of the fungi he taught us about was corn smut.


(http://www.plpa.agri.umn.edu/plpagrads/charlie_barnes.htm)

 

Following the lecture, we made several corn smut jokes (which I can't recall verbatum anymore; I should have written this yesterday.) Then I made the comment that this joke was wearing out pretty quickly, to which Brian (in the Dramatis Personae) said "Give it time. It'll come back," which I responded to with a quick "That's what she said!" which is itself a resurrection of a joke we had done to death last year.

This post hasn't been nearly as epic as I had hoped it to be, mostly because of my inability to remember the dialogue.

 

5-March-2007

Huh?

http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/

I got nothin' to say except: huh?

 

24-February-2007

What?

Before you take a lookat the link below, "fasten your mental...seatbelts" and prepare for the most absurd thing you will ever read.

http://www.fixedearth.com/

You're back. How long did it take you? I personally gave it a couple-minute once-over and was immediately struck with the urge to write.

I came accross this site on Web Pages that Suck, and was quick to learn that the content matched the presentation.

I can't quite comprehend how there can be people in this world who don't accept evolution as fact. I definitely can't wrap my brain around this site's other premise: Heliocentric Universe.

 I've skimmed the homepage and a couple other pages, and I cannot for the life of me stand to actually read their "proof" of thier accusations; it consists of nothing but quotations from the Bible and baseless assertions.

We, the rational people, have proof. We have calculations, we have visual data. Let me pose a question to the fundies: "If the earth revolves around the sun, then why have objects we know to be closer to earth not passed between it and us? (Excluding the Moon.)"

I'm too frusterated to write about this any more. Fucking fundies gave me a headache. Non-existent divinity damn Marshall Hall!

 

22-February-2007

A Monument to My Failures

This is mostly a reposting of my article found here, with some additions. I plan to keep this well updated.

Books I have Begun, but Not Finished

  • Walden
  • For Whome the Bell Tolls
  • The Republic
  • Journey to the West
  • The Once and Future King
  • Paradise (Dante)
  • The Odyssee
  • A Study of History, vols 1-V (22-Feb-2007: Continuing with vols VI-XII, as that material looks less faulty. Still poorly written, though.)

Hobbies I have Undertaken, but Abandoned

(Note, this does not include hobbies I conciously decided to  abandon, such as Pokemon or the piano.)

  • Tennis
  • Skateboarding
  • Playing the Guitar (19-FEB-2007: Learned some chords from Priya. At this point, I've had the guitar since Christmas '05.)
  • Web Design
  • Writing
  • AP World History, (22-FEB-2007: Which I should still be working on as I write this.)

 

13-February-2007

Chucksphere: 1st Anniversery

This humble website was founded on the 15th day of February in the year 2006. It emerged as a sort of bin where I could store all of the internet projects I was working on (one) and all of the projects I hoped to undertake in the future (many).

 

Because the site is, by its very nature, growing, I hesitated to advertise it. Therefore, it has received few visitors outside of my circle of friends. I’ve been so busy with things (mostly things I should be working on right now) that I haven’t had the opportunity to upgrade the content to a standard that I believe to be acceptable. Thus, I am at once ashamed of Chuck’s World O’ Wargames, and unable to change it for the time being.

 

I have attempted some other projects since the creation of the Chucksphere. I have linked to the Provisional Small Island Nation Wiki, of which I am the creator foremost contributor. I also started a site called ShutTheHellUp.org, which I aborted. It will hopefully resume operations in a different form later this year. Also in the works is a message-board-based-role-playing-game set in China’s Spring and Autumn/Warring States period. I have an off-site blog called Chuck-ese, which will be updated semi-regularly. And finally, (and this is a concept Stephe Schlaak came up with), I will be hosting DressStephen.co.nr.

 

My hopes for the coming year, after all this shit is off my back, are as follows:

  • Revive SuccessorToShutTheHellUp.org
  • Use my newly-found time to bring SpringAndAutumn online and functioning
  • Write more wargames for Chuck’s World O’ Wargames
  • Blog more, including some feature-length stuff
  • Orbital Fiesta?

Thus concludes my State of the Chucksphere Address.

My 1st Anniversery update can also be found here.

 

12-February-2007

Something You All Will Hear From Me Often

I've got a shitload of stuff due, it's crunchtime, etc. I probably won't post anything new until well into March, with the exception of the 1st Anniversery of the Chucksphere thing. When I return, I promise I'll keep it comming consistant.

 

31-January-2007

The Fisherman

I'll level with you, my faithful readers. I am a one-dimensional man. For all I talk about my various ambitions, I have one goal that supersedes all others. The treasures I seek is the joy of female companionship.

This end has consumed me, near as I can tell, since I "noticed" the opposite sex in 4th grade. And ever since, I've done a miserable job attaining this end.

I don't persue sex. I wouldn't say it's unimportant to me, but it definitely falls rather low on my priority scale. I seek neither social status nor a trophy. I want a person with whom I can communicate in a different way with. Attraction has something to do with it, but I honesty couldn't tell you why this is my obsession.

What I do know is that I like to talk about this little sport of mine in metaphor. I believe that fishing is the obvious choice for the metaphor. Thus, whenever I talk about "fishing," 9 times out of 10 I'll be talking about my quest for my Other Half.

Right now, I have only to say:
The fishing pond is not only devoid of fish, it appears to lack water, also.

 

31-January-2007

Chuck's Quotable Quotes

 I consider myself to be quite the quotable fellow. So, I'm going to do you the favor of sharing all of my little gems of speech with you. Enjoy.

"Freedom is like currency; if not used, it exists only to be taken away."

"Tell me, does [name removed out of decency] burn for the touch of a man?"

"It only offends you if you let it."

"If I knew why I do what I do, I'd be a much happier person."

"Want leads to pursuit; pursuit to failure; failure to misery; and misery to want."

"The clam seeks not its prey, yet it is always satisfied. Emulate the clam."

"The seed of doubt has been nurtured by the waters of evidence and the manure of proof, and has grown into the tree of sorrow."

"I didn't read Walden for a very good reason: it is a carcinogen."

"Stupid! Stupid! Never turn down a free hug."

"I crossed the crick to buy a creamy with extra melk with a cue-pon."

(These are in no particular order. The first one was first uttered at math camp in the summer before 8th grade, and the second was said last Saturday.)

 

30-January-2007

Single and Dumb

 Well, in this blog post, I was going to regale you with the details of the King of Hearts Dance I went to on Saturday; but I'll spare you.

I was also going to tell you about how I believe myself to my slipping mentally after our Quiz Busters loss yesterday; I'll spare you that story, too.

 

25-January-2007

Nevermind That Last Post

 Feel Free to ignore the news related in the last post. I had a change of heart, and I would like to interate and reiterate that I was not forced to remove it.

As I was writing the article, I thought to myself: "This may appear unnecessarily cruel, and isn't at all what I planned the site would be." However, I kept on typing, and I posted it. The feeling kept nagging at me while I was trying to sleep. This is not what I planned for it,  I told myself; and it wasn't.

I planned for it to have been a rallying point for those at my school to deal with our incompetent administration. Then it would grow into an organization where people can vent about the injustices of life. I expected to write about the subject I wrote about eventually, but I didn't see it launching the movement.

So, I've decided to deactivate the site for the time being, arrange a small community of my peers to provide the opening content, and go from there. Until then, I will be focusing on other things.

(Aside: I was fiddling around with "Mambo," to see if it was prefereable to "PHPNuke," and found Mambo wanting. While it looks nicer, the administration panel is too complex, and I had a hard time figuring out how to get some components to work.)

 

24-January-2007

Shut The Hell Up.org Launches (sort of)

The newest addition to the Chucksphere, Shut The Hell Up.org launches, although we don't have a proper URL for it. If the idea catches on, I'll develop it further.

Link

Now that I look back on that, I'm almost disgusted with myself for having written it. I'll write something else and bury that later. 

 

16-January-2007

This Book Doesn't Exactly Cite its Sources...

...and no, I'm not talking about The Final Days.

Yes, it's the Bible. We just finished our English Exams a bit ago, and I noticed how many of my classmates used the Bible as an absolute source of information. A couple people railed against abortion, and one girl argued that homosexuality was a sin.

This happened last year, also. Somebody quoted the Bible as proof of the existence of God. I'll let you chew on that fallicy for a bit...Assuming you haven't suffered an aneurism, I'll move on.

Another person used the Bible to back up some weired idea about the face on Mars. She used Biblical quotes and some word-play to argue that the face on Mars was constructed by...(wait for it)...angels. What she failed to realize was that two objects having similar names (one of the features near the face had a Biblical sounding name, I think) does not make them related, especially as the Martian feature was named by people, and not by the "angels" that "built" the face.

Another person argued in favor of intelligent design. Nothing needs be said about this, and as the person appears in the Dramatis Personae, I'll say no more.

These are not stupid people; raised in a northern state, family trees that branch where expected, decent to good grades all around. So, how can these people put all of that intelligence aside and just accept that something is the way it is because it was told in some ancient book?

If I pulled an even older citeless book off the shelf and tried to convince them that it was the truth, they'd resist. They resist some aspects of modern science. What makes them trust some words penned by a mottly assortment of gummies when we can show them the truth? I haven't got a clue. Enlighten me, somebody, please.

 

14-January-2007

Dramatis Personae

Throughout the stories and anecdotes I will present in this blog, many names will consistently appear. Rather than describing each person every time I introduce them, I have decided to form this handy little Dramatis Personae (I just came off reading a Larry Niven novel, so that may have had some influence).

Names are arranged in alphabetic order.

  • Alan - Brother to Brian. Cool in his own right.
  • Brian - The greatest human being to ever walk the face of my corner of the earth.  Man friend of Bryn and brother of Alan.
  • Bryn - Smart, funny, attractive, yet totally not my type. I tad condescending, but cool none-the-less. Lady friend of Brian.
  • David - Semi-regular member of the inner circle. Known as Nub-Sauce in our circle, occasionally.
  • Eric - Not as inept as he appears at first glance. Has a comb-over some of the time. We mock him relentlessly for th is. Also known as the Comb-Over Kid (that is a story which will be told at a very different time and place).
  • Father - The man who claims to be my father, although I have no grounds on which to dispute that claim other than hopeful thinking. He is an Urban Planner. He is also quite pussy wipped. Given name is Doug.
  • Jamie - When I tell you about her, I'll tell you all you need to know.
  • Jon - Good friend. Son of a minister. Likes running.
  • Julianne - Hot sister of Mark. Unfortunately, not a person, owing to her Freshman-ness.
  • Kira - The Ice-Queen of Hell. Sister of Bryn.
  • Mark - One of my closest friends. Spends altogether too much time with his girlfriend, according to her parents.  Prior, he used to be a self-described pimp. Stubborn as a mule; thus fun to argue with. More emotionally aware than he lets on (let me tell you the Niagara Falls story sometime). Also known as 600 Dollar Burns. Has 2 retired parents, 1 hot sister (Julianne), and numerous other relations.
  • Mother - The woman who was too lazy to actually give birth to me (C-section). I will make my feelings about her made known elsewhere in the Chucksphere. Given name is Peggy.
  • Ryan - Another of my closest friends. Smart, with correct liberal ideas. Hilarious when doped up on alergy meds.
  •  Steph(en) - Son of my former employers. Good guy. Likes running. Nor particularly good at showing up for Quiz Bowl matches.
  • Steve - Another of the "inner circle." Smarter than I am. Son of the judge. I've known him since first grade. His mom is just as dumb as mine.
  • Tom - Between whistling and naping, does great works
  • Veronica - The first girl I kinda had a relationship with.

This is by no means an exhaustive list of the people in my life. This is simply a list of people who may or may not frequently be present when things happen that I deem worthy to write about.

 

13-January-2007

An Explaination of the Name

I suppose that it would be in good form to explain the name of my new blog in the first post.

It all begain in Eighth Grade, at lunchtime. I was dutifully describing to my friends my response to a question on  an American History test they had yet to take. The answer had something to do with the Triangle Trade, and as I was using the words "trade routes," I made a little gesture with my fingers; I pointed both of my hands downward, extended my index fingers, and moved them from side to side.

My long-time friend Steve immediately mimicked/mocked me. Mark and Ryan joined in the fun. From that day foreward, my habit of making erratic hand gestures would lead to the birth of a whole new language whose sole purpose was to mock said habit. By the end of that fateful day, we had coined four words in "Chuck-ese":

  • Trade Routes (see above),
  • Ship: Make a goalpost with your hands; thumbs together, index fingers up.
  • Trade Ship: Same as "Ship" but pointing downward.
  • Trade Ship Trading: Make "Trade Ship", and wiggle fingers as in "Trade Routes"

Since that day, we have added innumerable words to the Chuck-ese vocabulary:

  • Third Wife: three middle fingers extended and touching, slap inner elbow of opposite arm.
  • Natives with AKs: Pretend you are groping air-breasts, turn wrists excitedly.
  • Government: Stomp foot on ground in front of you, and point foreward with arm of same side.
  • Shoot: Make fist with hand, and place the back of said hand on forehead. Extend index finger while moving fist away from forehead. Should end with a standard pointing gesture

And so on.

That is the manner in which I express myself. This, also, is how I express myself. I do not fare well with verbal communication. I stutter certain words (such as "I") and I talk very loudly; if the target of my speech is a pretty female, I lock up utterly; when giving a formal report, I talk very fast and into the paper I'm reading from (yet I still managed a silver medal in Informative Speech at the Baker Olympics last year); and the aforementioned gestures strike some as odd.

The idkydi stands for I don't know you, do I?

A note on the subtitle: it is a play on Noam Chomskey's information processing models we learned in Psychology. The Idea -> words -> phonemes -> speech model (top-down processing) has been altered to reflect my own shortcomings.

Good luck deciphering the crap,

- Chuck